you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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