Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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