On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
