Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
