do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
