where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Found the puke drawer
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
