Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
