I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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