Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
