She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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