I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
