its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
