my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
