I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
