Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
