First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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