At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
