i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
