I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
