Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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