it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
