one two three fourrrrnication!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
kristin has been a bad kristin
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
