two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
