guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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