oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
