just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
