Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
