i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this beer tastes like vomit already
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
