We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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