he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
