He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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