He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize