I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
