just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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