he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
