i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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