My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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