If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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