It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
