If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
