Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
