I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
