i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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