Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
