alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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