I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
