"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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