i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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