Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
