We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
