I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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