How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
