now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
