Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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