I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
