Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
