Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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