Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
