Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm having to shit out rocks
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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