wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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