Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
