i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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