why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
