The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
