I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
