whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
