He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
