All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
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