My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
