these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
