The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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