She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
