No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
