I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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