I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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