How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
