Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
