I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
