What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize