I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
