so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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