So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
