So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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