Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
