I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
